Sugar High
by Notorious George Weasley
Summary: Slight Angst. COMPLETE. Remus and Sirius in 5th year have something happen to the both of their hearts. Slytherins are jerks, Remus is the youngest of 7, and Sirius runs into bummps about love.
1. Family Ties

This is going to be adorable with a capital "AW". Be prepared for fluff.

I do not own Harry Potter but if I did you could guess that I would bend them all to my will!!! BWAHHAHA! AND I WOULD HAVE BEAN BURRITOS DANCING THE MACARENA ON THE POOL TABLE~! Sorry about that, anyways, onto the story that will (for once) have multiple chapters.

Chapter 1: Family Ties

The moon was rather bright, considering it's position and phase in the dark and murky night. 5th year was going to be great. Now that Dumbledore had appointed yet another DADA teacher people swore that the job was jinxed, for no teacher had stayed for longer than a year. No one really knew why, it was just… that way.

Remus Lupin, a 15-year-old werewolf, sat at his window; doing his summer homework all in one night. Naturally he would have done it sooner, but that June and July his family had gone across the continental Europe, leaving only the last week of August uncommitted. His hair, a dusty brown with silver tips, sat ruffled and slightly untamed on his head. The stars lit his book pages more than the candle did as he sat near the open glass window, looking out over the sleepy woods around his house, or rather, manner.

In the next room, he could hear his sisters, Reisa and Rhea, talking about how they needed new robes at Diagon Alley tomorrow. An older woman's voice, kind and warm with a touch of soft laughter, gently agreed and talked about book lists. In the room connected to his other wall, Remus heard his four brothers all talking in the "common-room" of the brothers in the Lupin residence: Relius' room.

Remus was the youngest of 7 children. As stated before, his two sisters were twins and 16, going into their 6th year at Hogwarts. Reisa was the over achiever and perfect in every way, even a Ravenclaw prefect. Rhea was the boy-obsessed one who constantly slacked and still pulled off amazing grades. Then came his 4 brothers. The other set of twins, Rigel and Rital, beginning 7th year in Hufflepuff; always in trouble and pulling pranks with no mercy. They were exactly alike in personality and appearance, except that Rital had freckles. Next was the self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and laid back Relius, in his 7th year as a Gryffindor, who was the friendliest to the youngest in the family. Relius could also be called the psychologist of the family. Even their parents asked him advice because he was so understanding. And how could we forget the pride and joy of the family: Randal. He had been Head Boy, Gryffindor prefect, and now had a job in the Ministry of Magic. Remus was constantly in his perfect oldest siblings shadow and didn't want to be better than him but wanted to be noticed by his parents.

The last was always Remus. He was the young reader, the serious dreamer, and the only Marauder in the family. He had every teacher trusting him to come through on every assignment. Even when he was around Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail, he had only gotten 3 detentions.

He sighed and turned to look up at the twinkling stars, finding constellations with a smile that seemed to make the stars shine brighter in his eyes. The summer had been so wonderful, and he felt that the school year ahead was bound to be better.

A knock broke his thoughts and the tranquility of his quill scratching the parchment. "Come in."

A tall man entered. He had a kind face but a sturdy build, much unlike the nimble and thin Remus. The man has so much wisdom in his wrinkled face and sagging blue eyes that you could tell he had seen much. His father simply beamed down at the young werewolf.

"In bed Remus, go on. We have a big day tomorrow." Said the man with so much authority in his voice. He often needed that authority when he was raising 7 children.

Remus put the closing line of his essay and sealed his ink well, dried his quill, and put his paper away. When he finally squirmed in under his comforter and rested his head on the overstuffed goose down pillow, his father smiled a bit wider.

"Gringots tomorrow, I need to give you all more money before Hogsmede this year."

Remus whined a little. "I have enough money to run a small country Dad, you don't need to spend everything."

With a laugh, the old man replied, "I want to see you all spend a chunk of my money before I die and you get your inheritance. Besides, spend some on those friends of yours."

Remus just nodded. It wasn't that he was tight with a Knut; it was just that he cared for humbleness in cases of money. He liked wearing hand-me-down robes because he felt they were better than new starched ones. He also didn't want to see money go to waste. And also, Remus didn't like flaunting that his family was the richest in all of Wizarding. His father, however, spent money like it was burning a hole in his pocket, even though he was wise with his investments.

"Will any of your friends be in Diagon Alley tomorrow?"

"All three of them," Remus answered, half cynically.

"I hope you know how proud your mother and I am of you, Remus. You have coped so well with that bite and to have such loyal friends to get you potions, and become animagus just for you, that takes the kindness you give them."

"Thank you, Dad. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Remus." The door shut and all that lit the werewolf's room was starlight.


	2. Diagon Alley

Chapter 2: Diagon Alley

"Greetings Remulous, Rose."

"How are you there Sam?"

The Leaky Cauldron was full of people, as always. It was loud but joyous, cheerful and bright, with all kinds of wizards and witches inside. Remus looked forward to only one kind though. His sisters had already disappeared with the money their father had given them and their best friend, Minerva McGonagall, was with them.

His twin brothers were talking in a corner, explaining and planning rapidly. Relius was sitting on a window ledge, waiting. Remus walked over, wanting desperately to ask his older brother something, but not knowing what to.

Relius looked up and smiled. He greatly enjoyed talking with his smart little brother. Remus sat beside him and also stared out the window.

"You want help with something," Relius commented all-knowingly. "But you don't know what."

His response was a bashful nod.

"I might know," he said, looking out the window again. His little brother's amber eyes gave Relius all the younger one's attention. _What if he really does know?_ he thought to himself.

"What is it?" he asked out loud, looking with eagerness at Relius.

"Do you really want me to tell it?" Relius returned. Remus nodded willingly. His older brother bent forward and whispered in his younger brother's ear, "You love Sirius Black."

Remus' blood drained from his face as his hair stood on end. Then too much blood rose into his cheeks to make him blush. "H-how did you know-?" he asked, his older brother smiled.

"You act different around him than you do around James and Peter. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. But you should tell him. I think he deserves to know."

That was why Remus adored Relius more than his other siblings. None of them understood him or how he felt the way he did. Especially since he felt like a freak werewolf. But this little moment between the two brothers was interrupted by 3 things… well, 3 people actually.

First came the hollers, then the scramble of feet, and finally the leap and collision of the Marauders as Sirius, James, and Peter landed on Remus and his hair stood on end again. Soon, Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs were all speed talking to catch up on what had taken place over the summer. Relius sat where he was on the window ledge, doubled over with laughter.

Then Mr. Killer of fun himself, Randal walked up to the 4 Marauders.

"What's all this then?" he huffily exclaimed. "Stop that hollering and smiling, this isn't a pub house!"

But he only made the four boys roar with laughter. The twins were behind him doing impressions of "our dear sweet perfect older role model brother." But just as Randal caught on and turned around with his hands balled into fists, the twins rushed past him.

"Dearest Marauders… and little brother," Rigel addressed importantly.

Rital continued. "We are offering everyone a free Batty Midnight sundae at Diagon Alley after we finish our shopping, so please-"

"Let us depart!"

The twins ushered the cheering Marauders out the door. As they left the Leaky Cauldron, Sirius turned to Remus briefly and barely whispered, "Good to have you back, Moony."

The rest of the day didn't matter to the werewolf now, nothing did. After all, Padfoot had missed him.


	3. Returning from No where

WOO HOOO!!! 2nd POSTING IN ONE DAY! THIS ROCKS, ne? Well… I don't own these characters, which is sad, because they'd love me if I did. Please review. Any one who does gets a slice of pie.

Pumpkin cookies for: **xMadgirlx**, **Atiannala**, **Fade to Black, Rena Lupin**, and **anymos-chan**. Thanks GUYS! Now, as promised, chapter 3.

Chapter 3: Returning From Nowhere

In no time at all the four Marauders were sitting in their train cabin, talking about Hogsmede, the school year to come, brooms, Quidditch, and, unfortunately most of all; girls. It wasn't unusual for Remus to be quiet in conversations, but when the subject of females arose, the young werewolf was dead silent. Not a word escaped his fine and fair lips. Instead, he busied himself with watching the countryside pass by his window.

He knew it was hopeless and impossible to love Sirius. Padfoot had his own fan club of girls in every house. Whether it was crooning, sweet-talking, or winking, Remus was sure that Sirius did it, and he did it so well and liquidly smooth that the girls were putty in the scruffy Marauder's hand. And deep down in the werewolf's heart, it ached, as if he was being teased and played along with the hundreds of Sirius' fan girls. But he didn't have any of that kind of attention, except as a friend.

"Moony, are you ok?" James asked as he noticed the utter silence emitting from Remus. "You're really… quiet."

"I'm fine Prongs, just a bit tired." He said as he tried to shrug off the attention that had been given to him. But, to the sheer agony of Remus, he wasn't forgotten.

"You sure?" James pressed on.

"Yes."

"I had an aunt who was really quiet once, then poof! She up and died in the middle of a visit with me mum." Peter commented, not at all helping the situation. "Turns out she was hiding pain inside her the entire time."

"That's…. depressing." Sirius said, fumbling while trying to find the right word. "Anyways, you're not hiding any pain, are you Moony?"

This was it; the silence fell stale as Remus deprived his friends of an answer. How could he answer them? If he told the truth, they would continue asking questions until the found out he loved Sirius, or he could lie and ruin his record for always telling the truth. So, he took a deep breath and decided to avoid the whole thing.

"Don't worry about me guys, honest. I'm fine, the moon is just really taking it out of me lately." He said with a forced smile. The marauders went back to talking, but Peter gave Remus a very long and hard look before contributing to the conversation again. 

Having sensed something in Wormtail's stare, the werewolf stood and walked out into the hallway, where who should he run into but Severous Snape, or more commonly known to the Marauder as Snivellous. Sure the Marauders picked on him as a group, but when on his own, Remus was afraid of Severous and intimidated by his cold stare, icy eyes, and slimy hair, which was forever the subject of ridicule amongst them.

"What do you want, Lupin?" The voice was fiercely cruel and lacking any warmth or compassion. Much like his green eyes. Remus stiffened just as he ended the first word.

"I… sorry I ran into you… um… I-"

"You bloody well should be you ass, now move or else."

"Whatever Severous." Remus said and stepped into another cabin, which conveniently held his twin brothers and their best friend and partner in crime; Copernicus Helio, or more commonly known as Nicus.

"AH! Remmy! What're you doin' here? Did those lousy friends of yours kick you out?" Rital asked, mimicking the sincere tone of their mother.

"We'll give them hell if they did." Rigel continued.

"No," Remus reassured them, "just needed some… different air." The twins laughed.

"Well, that is the best way to put it considering that there is no real fresh air here, just different air." Nicus commented, half to himself. The twins gave him a look.

The poor werewolf had only just sat down when Sirius appeared at the door.

"Remus," he began, opening the compartment door. "I-"

"What is this, a party?" Rigel inquired cynically as he swallowed his mouthful of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"A party, oh I do so love parties! Drinks all round!" Rital yelled, downing a butter beer.

Padfoot absent-mindedly shook his head and turned once again to Moony. "Remus, can I talk with you in the hall?"

"Sure," was his slightly high-pitched answer as Remus rose from his seat and walked into the hall behind the animagus. It was hopeless, and Moony was being foolish. Padfoot would never love him, and he was going to have to face it sooner or later. _Yeah, here come the emotions. Get over it Remus, you're only setting yourself up for heartbreak. That's it, cry me a river, build yourself a bridge and get over it. Stop waiting for him because he's never showing up, _he told himself, watching the ground.

"Moony, are you sure you're all right, because you're acting way more different than last year and I was wondering if it was my fault?"

Remus almost choked with the way Sirius' voice was so caring. Why did he have to be so considerate and yet so flaky at the same time?

The werewolf couldn't help but stutter as his crush put him on the spot. "I-yeah, I mean no, well, it's nothing to do with you, sort of. It's the moon! That's it, the moon, playing with me." _Did Peter tell him?_

"Ok, well, if you ever need anything, just holler." Sirius said with a tough grin as he disappeared back into the Marauder's train cabin.

"Holler…" Remus repeated to himself, grabbing at his own shirt collar. Barely above a whisper, he closed his eyes and admitted out loud, "I wish I could scream out loud that I love you, Sirius Black. I wish I could tell you what I feel for you without tripping over the words. I wish that there _were_ words to describe what I feel for you, because keeping this secret is eating me up inside and I don't know how to keep it hidden anymore."

Silencing himself, Remus rejoined his three friends in the compartment; his amber eyes ready to cry even though he was doing his best to smile.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So cute, ne? Well, there's chapter 3! Stay tuned for Chapter 4!


	4. Back to Basics

I'm tremendously bored so I'm updating AGAIN! And no cookies for anyone new. And whoever flamed Broken Mending, **cough**Hallie Belle**cough**, You've Got a lot of nerve! We'll see whose laughing when I publish my book! No flamers unless you want to die a horrible, horrible death. Jerks. Here's the stupid 4th Chapter, like you care. I may just discontinue this if people don't review!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: Back to Basics 

After the Sorting and the annual banquet, Remus practically ran to his dormitory. Once again the four beds were in the same place, everyone's things were they were last year. Every little memory about the last few years returned to the werewolf's mind as he jumped on to his bed, burying his face in the soft pillows. It even smelled the same. He picked up his black leather journal, which was almost completely full, and his self-inking quill. Without looking up, at the first blank page he began to scribble his feelings out on the paper, knowing exactly where each line was.

It helped him feel less of a strain on his heart, but not as much as telling probably would. Then again, telling people would make matters worse, no doubt. Remus could just picture is now. "Oh My GAWD! That Lupin freak is GAY!" That would improve things, oh yeah.

Moony barely looked up when Wormtail entered with a grin on his face that could only be explained by the number of pumpkin juices he had drank at dinner.

"C'mon Remus, the beginning of the party for the Quidditch team is about to begin!" he yelled, grabbing some Wizard Woozers from his trunk.

"You're forgetting that I'm not on the team." The werewolf returned as his pillow still muffled his speech.

"… Yea, so? You have the best damn cheering voice from the stands. The whole team can hear you!"

"Thanks but no thanks, Peter. I don't feel up to it right now."

Peter smiled wholeheartedly and with a sigh began looking for more poppers.

The main reason that Remus didn't want to go to the party was that. Sirius would be there. Remus acted so strange around him and was so insecure that his soul rattled. The other reason didn't want to go to the party was because Padfoot's fan club would be there. Despite not being able to face Padfoot on his own anymore, the millions of girls ogling him made poor Moony feel like crying.

There were a few reasons Remus hadn't tried out for Quidditch. The first and foremost was heights, which scared the werewolf to death. The second and slightly more recent on his mind was the hygiene. Showers. Public ones. Prongs, being the team captain and seeker got his own shower, but Peter and Sirius, being the beater and chaser, did not. They both would be buck naked along with all the other guys on the team and would be covered with soapsuds, making their skin shine. Moony nearly passed-out just thinking about this side of his dreamed-to-be lover. He certainly would go insane if he joined the team and would fall on the floor in fits of seizures.

Wormtail sat down at the end of the werewolf's bed, smiling and full of pity. "Moony, we're all really worried about you. Ever since 3rd year you've been distancing yourself more and more. You're a lot more shy and quiet. I realize that since you're a werewolf it may be normal, and maybe not everything's going for you right now, but please tell me if something's wrong. I'm your friend and you can tell my and the guys anything without being judged."

Lupin looked up with deep amber eyes at the boy with a slight look of surprise and quiet wonder, debating whether he should say something or not. "Peter… thank you but nothing's wrong. I will tell you when I figure out if something is thought." His amber eyes dropped to his pillow again.

Wormtail smiled with a very knowing gleam in his eyes as he said, "Don't worry, Moon. You'll get up the courage." And he left the werewolf wondering.

After Peter left, Remus put away his scribbling black notebook and his quill. He didn't bother to change before snuggling into his bed and falling asleep, thinking about his dear friends, not noticing that the dark haired scruffy 15-year-old was standing at the door, looking lovingly in at the slumbering werewolf.

With a slightly crushed sigh, the animagus whispered to himself, "Good night Rem… I wish I could tell you this, because it won't be very easy to bear much longer."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! **Chapter 5: Calling all Angels.**


	5. Calling All Angels

Yay, yay! I never thought I would get this far on any fan fiction! Well, I won't keep you waiting. All people who read this get a candy bar of their choice! Here's the 5th chapter~! :WHOOT: Fresh pie for: Fireblade K'Chona, L-sama, Purplefluffychainsaw, Liver Beazard, Davey-boy, silver-sunn101, Wonkywerewolf, Fade to Black, and last but not least, Rena Lupin. THANKIES! BTW, I'm co-writing a Fan-Fic with Fireblade K'Chona. The plot is really funky and we're really going against the grain in it, look for the title, it's The Phantom and the Werewolf. YAY!

Chapter 5: Calling all Angels 

The three Marauders continued to snigger though the sound clearly endangered their mission. Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail had placed a Swelling Singing Sneak pill in the very groggy James Potter's omelet and were waiting for him to start eating it. Moony, though thinking it cruel, found some weird twist of joy in playing pranks on people with his friends. And on this day in late October, who could resist giving ol' Jimmy-James a little pill that would make him sing every word he uttered for 2 hours? No one with half a brain. It would be extremely entertaining to see how he would manage ordering a drink at the Three Broomsticks, or any other shop in Hogsmede for that matter.

With a very sleepy yawn from Peter, James gobbled up his omelet without a second thought. First he gagged, next he sputtered, and then he sang out the words, "What the Hell?"

That was enough for the three culprits as they hysterically burst out laughing, instantly incriminating themselves as James' eyes narrowed viciously.

"You complete bastards!" He sang out, ready to go for an E-flat.

"Settle down James, you'll go into Staccatos." Peter warned him, wiping tears from his eyes. Sirius snorted into his pumpkin juice as Moony stared at James' serious face and tried his best to keep from laughing again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hogsmede was the greatest treat the four Marauders could've hoped for; that and having their "map" of the school and Hogsmede to aid them, which they conveniently made the year before. Despite it bring only October, the rain came down as cold as ice and soon everyone was soaked. After lastly visiting the Shrieking Shack to take inventory. The four boys ran through the sheets of thick rain to the Three Broomsticks. James' voice was back to normal but he made Peter order the four butter beers.

They sat down close to the fire and tried to stop shivering as they talked about what had happened that day. Once again, Moony was silent and just curled up on his chair holding his mug of steaming warm butter beer. All summer, Remus had dreamed about this moment. Just his friends and him, sitting around a warm fire with a hot drinks and being like everyone else, being normal for once. He couldn't help but smile back at Sirius, whose eyes were looking at his, though he was taking to the other two, both pretending that the color on their cheeks was from the heat of the fire.

"Moony, I think that's the first time you've really smiled this year." James said, eating a cauldron cake. Peter nodded in agreement, wiping frosting off his lips.

"Seriously?" the werewolf asked. Surely he had smiled at _least_ everyday, but his three friends knew otherwise. "Oh… well, I'll try to smile more often then."

Wormtail and Prongs exchanged looks. Obviously, Remus wasn't getting off that easy this time. "You don't have to," Peter said, looking a bit suspicious at how flexible Remus was being. "It was just an observation."

"Yes, but I want to be-…" Remus stopped himself. He didn't want to get into a conversation and he had just lost his train of thought.

"Be…?" Sirius asked as he looked as Remus' embarrassed face.

"A-anyone for Bertie Boot's Every Flavored Beans Poker?" he stuttered out, fishing in his bag for his deck of playing cards.

"Moony stop avoiding attention. You're just as important as the next guy. We'd like to listen to you for once and-" James began, setting his butter beer down.

Remus cut him off. "James, all I want to be to other people is invisible, and if I'm not I'm a freak. Give me a break. I'm not as important as the next guy because I'm not like the next guy! I'm a werewolf and no one will think more of me than that! You can't deny that you don't see how people jeer at me, how they stare at me, how they whisper when I walk by! I hate drawing attention to myself because if they ignore me I won't get hurt! So LET IT GO!" the brown haired pale boy wound up yelling. The people in the pub were all silenced as they turned to see the wizard that had made all the commotion. Remus realized only a few breaths later what he had done. His hand flew up over his mouth as his cheeks burned red. In his eyes was a look of shock and grave embarrassment. The other three Marauders sat in awe and disbelief at how their usually quiet friend had burst out.

"Remus… I didn't… we didn't know that-" Padfoot began, leaning forward as tears formed in Moony's eyes. Nobody else had time to say anything as their pale friend grabbed his bag and coat, dashing out the door and leaving his butter beer half-empty.

"We don't know how he feels, do we?" Sirius asked, staring at the door. The seeker ran a hand through his constantly messy black hair. Peter gazed at Remus' empty chair and softly said, "You guys don't because you're so popular, and I don't because I always blurt out despite consequences. None of us can really relate to him because he's always worried and he's…different. He feels left out around people so he alienates his friends because of some fear."

James sighed heavily. "I didn't mean anything, you guys know that right?" Peter nodded as Sirius stood up and walked to the door, looking out into the stormy street. The teenage werewolf was nowhere to be found, the rain was coming down harder, if it was possible. Nothing could stop a thought of concern creep into Padfoot's mind as he scanned the landscape again to no avail. 

Remus sat on his bed, crying into a pillow and screaming for all that he was worth. Sure, no one could hear him scream, but the sobs were more obvious.

"I can't believe I did that! …I'm such a stupid, ignorant idiot. God, I can't face them again," he said, through his sobs. His grip tightened on the pillow ad he pulled, ripping the scarlet material in half. Feathers erupted out of it and covered Remus and his bed with a blanket of white fluff. He just sat there, gazing at the two strips of red in his pale hands.

"That's all I am… a rich werewolf… in love with an icon… I might as well be dead." Moony whispered to himself, falling backwards and staring at the scarlet canopy overhead. His wand was soon out and the 15-year-old made the feathers disappear, leaving the bed spotless except for the missing pillow.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I'll just apologize and not say anything else about it. It was irresponsible and rude to trouble them with my problems… they aren't even problems, they're just worried." He was psyching himself out and he didn't seem to mind the fact that he was talking to himself.

Reaching into his nightstand drawer, he seemed to remember a song he had once heard from a play called _The Phantom of the Opera_, and though his memory was at a loss for the plot, he hummed the song, remembering that it was called "Masquerade." Sifting away broken quills, papers, and his diary, he uncovered his most prized possession. It was just a simple Carnival mask, nothing but a white base, black lines, and silver trimming. Even though he had bought it over 5 years ago in Venice, it still fit because of the charm placed on it.

As he set it on his face, Remus sat up to look in the mirror hanging on the opposite wall.

"What are you hiding from, little brother?" A familiar voice wafted in from the doorway as Relius appeared there.

"Why do you think I'm hiding?"

"You only wear that mask when you want to be someone else."

"And what if I do?" Remus asked more forcefully than he meant to.

"Pray for a change of mind."

Footsteps echoed down the hall as Remus' brother walked away.

That night, as the students returned from Hogsmede and flowed into the Great Hall, Remus sat by his lonesome, looking at his beef stew and trying to smile, which he did not succeed at. Without the werewolf's knowledge, the three Marauders sat down around him, Peter next to him, Sirius and James across from him. The plan was simple in their minds: get more of his story so they can help.

"Er… Moony?" Wormtail said, prodding the zoned-out wizard in the side. Waking from his daze, the boy with amber eyes found himself suddenly surrounded as more food appeared on the tables.

"Oh! You're back. I'm sorry I was going insane… for a moment…" he said, staring at a plate absent mindedly. Then he smiled convincingly and asked, "How was the rest of the trip?"

The other 3 were dumbfounded. Wasn't this the same brown haired and pale-faced teenager that just exploded with emotions in the Three Broomsticks? Didn't that just happen a few hours ago? But how was he able to completely "forget" the entire thing?

"Great actually and- wait, Remus, about the Three Broomsticks-" James struggled to say, still astonished by his friend's lack of self-image.

"About that, James. I'm sorry I forced my problems, not even problems… ah, troubles on you. No one should have to worry about something not concerning them. So, where else did you guys go?" Moony asked, though his voice was somewhat false, though only to Sirius.

But no answer came. Black looked right into his roommate's amber eyes, searching for a hint of some other emotion or explanation. And then it hit him. It was only the full moon that night; Remus' eyes wouldn't be red and puffy on their own. He had been crying.

As Peter explained the rest of the trip to Moony, it became more and more clear to Padfoot that his friend was faking them all out. He was doing it solely to make them forget him again. 

But Sirius refused to forget him. The thought of his best friend was on his mind all night and all day. Sure, the girls were cute and all, but no one was quite like Remus J. Lupin. The way he laughed, though however rare it was, at Sirius' stale jokes, the way he looked when he slept, all curled up in a bundle of the sheets, and how he could walk into a room in such an inconspicuous, refined, and graceful manner, stole the attention of the self-proclaimed rogue. Padfoot was captivated by the invisible werewolf.


	6. Almost Close

YAY! DOUBLE UPDATES! Sorry about the lateness by the way, it's been a horrendous school week. Pumpkin pie for all the people who reviewed! My Internet wasn't working as I wrote this so I can't put up your Screen Names. BUT YOU ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Now, the almost-fluffy chapter! I promise that they'll get together over the next few chapters! **READ ON**!

Chapter 6: Almost Close 

Weeks came and went for the Marauders. Even if they were packed with assignment after assignment, the days seemed like hours for the werewolf. Then, one evening in early December, Prongs and Wormtail sat in the common room talking about the Quidditch game tomorrow. Moony stood alone in the dormitory, slipping the buttons through his shirt holes with on hand, loosening his tie with the other, and reading the book that lay open on his bed. Reading and multitasking always made the werewolf feel better. Being momentarily lost in another world, a different story, always held its advantages in the werewolf's soul. Regardless of the ending being happy of tragic.

Remus was skinnier than most boys. A bit smaller too, and the most generous person any of the three Marauders knew. For Christmas the previous year, Remus had purchased a silver stag pendant, a gold rat pendant, and a platinum dog pendant for the others. Each was hand made and hung on a leather thong to be worn as a necklace. 

While Prongs and Padfoot talked with him as a distraction, Wormtail snuck around in Remus' trunk for the receipt (which he undoubtedly found, being the rat he was). When Remus left for the library, Peter showed the slip of paper to the two. 3 galleons and 10 sickles each was what they sold for and after some quick calculations the trio came to a grand total of 10 galleons and 13 sickles.

It was more money than Remus made in a year, clearly showing that he had been saving. The Marauders felt guilty and overly flattered. Was it possible to be too generous for Remus J. Lupin?

The young werewolf flopped on his bed, pulling his overly big pajama top on. It had been Randal's and still was huge on Remus, but it was cozy and warm. He took the book up in his hand and began reading again; taking a handful of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. After eating grapefruit, dirt, toast, gravy, sushi, and a clear on the boy swore was water, he brushed his teeth, settled down in his bed and blew out his candle. Only 30 seconds later he was disturbed by a thump, crash, and the sound of shattering glass, all followed by a stifled curse.

"Lumos." The tired werewolf mumbled as he looked around in the light his wand emitted. On the ground lay Sirius Black, his hand bleeding and what was left of a rememberall scattered around the floor. As Padfoot scrambled to get up, he winced from pain when he leaned on his gushing hand, leaving a bloodstain on the ground. Apparently he had tripped over James' trunk and fallen with his hand on his rememberall.

"Padfoot you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Remus exclaimed, crawling out of bed and blushing wildly as he scurried to steady Sirius. The lights turned on as Sirius forced a smile.

"Sorry, I can't see in the dark too well, unlike you."

Remus hexed the last of the glass away and took Sirius' hand, his face burning. "H-here. Let me see you hand." The ground was cold but it wasn't that which sent shivers up his spine. He pointed his wand to the cut.

"Don't fuss Re, it's fine."

After it had healed, Moony gazed up at Sirius' eyes, still holding his hand, and mumbled, "What did you call me?"

"Re…" Padfoot whispered, his gaze softening and grin growing. _Damn that grin_, Moony told himself as he felt his knees turn to jelly. The grin was so roguish and sweet that it filled the werewolf's heart with butterflies. It was a prefect moment to tell him… but tell him what? What could Remus ever say to Sirius? But, for some unfathomable reason, the werewolf smiled back.

It wasn't a smile with just his mouth or his face; he smiled with his eyes. As Sirius looked into the amber eyes, he could tell that Remus really was happy. For once in both lives, something felt right. The two of them, there, together, so close and quiet, nothing mattering at all, except each other. But, (alas!) as all moments do, this one had to end. And end it did as Peter barged into the room.

"Remus are you sure that you-…sorry, was I interrupting?"

"No." Remus answered, shrinking away from Sirius' gaze as his smile faded, along with his hope. _Hope was dangerous, especially about someone who you aren't meant to be with_, he thought, returning to his bed and laying down, turning so he wouldn't see the other two. "You should go to bed soon, same with James. You all have a Quidditch match in the morning."

"…That we do." Sirius said, looking out the window. Peter eyed the two boys as Sirius echoed, "That we do."

**How'd you like it? Sorry about the lateness. Double updates!**


	7. The Game of Love

Yah… I've been feeling guilty because I haven't updated for a long time… so! 6-layerd cakes with personal messages for…. 

**no1important**- you ARE important!

**HappyDappyDrunk-** thank you

**fadingimage**- this is for you! 

**Surya**- ^_^ back to ya 

**Sevagkd** I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough! 

**Rena Lupin** I wish _I_ were related to Remus… 

**Purplefluffychainsaw** you're right, Remus needs a hug. He thanks you for it 

**The Notoriously Handsome and Humble Draco Malfoy** are you sure about the humble part?

**A.L. Lorraine**- it IS interesting 

**L-sama**- I love cookies! You're such a good reviewer 

**Fireblade K'Chona**- … only Erik can pull off that laugh! 

**The Demonic Duo** this chapter will also pull you in!

**Chapter 7: The Game of LOVE~!**

The crowds cheered again as Gryffindor scored against Slytherin. James was just stalling so that the chasers could score more points before catching the snitch, which proved to be especially hard because Snape had very good aim with bludgers. He was a damn good Beater. The Marauders agreed that it was his slimy hair: it made him aerodynamic. 

 As Sirius scored 10 more points, James dove for the snitch, which took him on a very wild chase, followed by the Slytherin seeker behind him. But Prongs didn't have time to look behind to see how close he was. He didn't need to, for he was being informed by a certain werewolf in the stands yelling at the top of his lungs over the rest of the crowd.

Snape, seeing that it was all going to end soon, decided to create a much-needed "distraction", but what was it to be? And who was the voice shrieking tips at Black and Pedigrew? Then his eyes narrowed at seeing Remus Lupin bent almost out of the Gryffindor box, his hands cupped around his mouth as he yelled himself horse. As another bludgers came hurtling to the Slytherin, Snape's face turned into a hideous grin as he aimed and swung his bat with all his might. The black ball flew in an almost straight line to the Gryffindor, who was completely oblivious until it was too late.

There was a deafening crack as all eyes turned from the game to the Gryffindor stand. James couldn't watch, he had to get the snitch. As silence echoed on the field, the sound of the creaking stands reached everyone's ears and the teenage wizard fell out of the box on his way down the 500 foot drop, his face red from the impact, himself knocked sense less.

Suddenly, the field erupted with shouts and yelling as people yelled for someone to help the poor boy. Sirius was watching Remus' every move as he lay flat against his broom, racing to catch him. The werewolf became conscious again and tears streaked up his face as he looked at the ground, to afraid to move. 

Heights weren't bad enough, but now falling from them made him beg for his life, or some angel to say him. What angel did, he didn't expect.

Sirius was reaching a speed that muggles only dreamed of as he swerved to stop below the Lupin, who now fell back-down. Padfoot looked up at the werewolf as he let go of his broom, spreading his arms to catch the pale boy. James had time to look over at them and shout with snitch in hand as everyone held their breath. 

THUD 

Sirius' arms were rapped so tightly around Remus; small body as soon as he felt him that it was as if all the powers that be could not tear him away. The impact made them drop about 10 feet, but soon the broom suspended them again. Moony clutched the black haired boy tightly, afraid to let go. 

Applause deafened the both of them, but Sirius could not hear it as Remus slowly opened his wet and frightened amber eyes to stare up at him. With a nervous sob, Moony hugged the wizard. Sirius smiled and held him closely, realizing something as he slowly descended to the ground. Remus was all he wanted… all he would ever want… he was all that mattered to him now. He was in love. Both of them were shaken by the experience, but their hearts were the things that were really trembling.

As they touched the ground, they were swarmed by faculty and students; the other players not far behind. But, despite the crowd, Sirius did not place the shivering Lupin down. If Remus had opened his eyes, he would have seen his brothers and sisters looking at him with both wonder and knowledge of what had really happened. He would have also seen a certain Slytherin being pulled off by the headmistress.

Madame Pomfrey was waiting for the two at the entrance to the castle as tears of joy fell down her cheeks. Reluctantly, Sirius let go of Remus, laying him on the stretcher. Over all the loud cheers and applause, he could only barely hear the werewolf breathe "Sirius…" as he was carried off.

Sirius was left to fend off fan girls and fellow students and congratulating teachers. He earned 550 points for Gryffindor by the time they were done praising him. Even Dumbledore seemed pleasantly surprised and said that it would make front-page news in the _Daily Prophet_. His teammates lifted him up on their shoulders and chorused, "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" about a thousand times. Sirius didn't hear a word of it. His mind was in one place: up in the infirmary with a frightened werewolf.

Despite all of his attempts, he couldn't make it up to the Hospital Wing that night. And likewise, Remus couldn't come down to join the others in celebration. They both had something to tell each other.


	8. Emotion Sicknes

Yes, I know, FINALLY I UPDATE! I'm SOOO sorry for this! Ok… brownies for…

**freakyfairy- **that's almost the best review I've ever had… now I have guilt for ignoring this story~!

anymos-chan- I've had the same problem… thanks for the review anyways! 

**Purplepuffychainsaw-** I'm SORRY! ***gloimps for forgiveness*** just let me beg!

**LilaStar-** I didn't mean for it to dangle… but, here we go!

**Fireblade K'Chona- **I'm sorry, Lilly! Gimme a break!

**kaleenie beenie- …**maybe I shouldn't give you any more Sugar… it does stuff to you...

**L-sama- **I'm sure you do have a lot of ass… well, here goes! ***Hugs***

**C-** short, quick, and to the point. I like you.

**Sorry to everyone else! You ARE important, but don't you want the story? Well, here we go then!**

**Chapter 8: Emotion Sickness**

"_When I think about my life, I wanna kiss myself goodbye, Sugar High."_

Morning came, and as soon as Sirius was sure his werewolf friend would be up, he got out of bed and crept over to grab his clothes and the Marauder's Map. James and Peter were so drunk from last night they would be out until McGonagall found them, so Sirius merely shut the door as he hopped out of the dorm and common room.

Creeping up back passages to avoid fans, Padfoot made it into the Hospital Wing in one piece. All last night, the only thing he dreamt about was Moony. His own dear Moony, who felt so right in his arms. As soon as Mme. Pomferey saw the shaggy black-haired boy coming in, she glared and led him to the corner of the sick ward.

Remus sat in the starched white bed, his face back to pale normalcy, a piece of toast in between his lips as he chewed. The amber eyes were concentrated on the latest issue of the Daily Prophet. On his bed stand were flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, letter, a new book, Berty Bott's Every Flavored Beans, a few chocolate frogs, and a vase of green tulips. Obviously, the Lupin family had already heard of the almost-fatal accident. But the deep amber eyes only stared at the front page of the wizarding newspaper in slight regret.

"Mr. Lupin, buck up, you have a visitor." Mme. Pomferey stated coldly, eyeing Sirius with a warning on her face. Remus looked at her and then at Padfoot, who stepped out and sat next to the werewolf. As the nurse walked away, Remus' cheeks reddened slightly.

"We're in the Daily Prophet," the werewolf mentioned disappointedly, giving Sirius the paper as he continued to gnaw on his toast. The wizard tried to look interested in the paper, but couldn't help smiling today, especially at how cute Remus looked eating toast, which was black and heavily buttered.

"It's good news, Rem! Not everyday a student falls out of a 800 ft Quidditch stand!" Remus turned slightly green as he looked at Sirius again. Padfoot grabbed a piece of toast from the werewolf's breakfast tray and munched as he read the article.

"You're used to attention…" Remus muttered under his breath, looking at the end of his bed as he downed his orange juice. His eyes closed and opened again as he noticed Sirius smiling at him, his hands behind his back. The amber eyes questioned the animagus.

"Yea, I am, and it's time you became visible again," the scruffy Marauder said gently, bringing his hands around to reveal a small bouquet of peach roses. As he handed them to the werewolf, his brown eyes watched the small but noticeable smile form. Moony's eyes were sparkling.

"You didn't have to…" was all Remus could think to say as he blushed, but kept the smile in his pale face.

"I wanted too," was Padfoot's answer, as he smiled kindly, eyes fixed on the entrancing boy before him.

"…Why?"

Sirius stopped and thought for a minute. Letting Remus know now would be too easy, and Padfoot loved games. And so, he answered directly, yet obscurely. "Because for the first day in my life I'm so happy that I'm realizing only one person could ever make me feel this way."

Remus' heart dropped out of the pit of his stomach and his smile faded. Padfoot was in love. It was so obvious in the brown eyes that Moony kicked himself for not noticing it in the first place. He had waited too long… And now he had to bear it. Pain formed a lump in the back of the werewolf's throat as he fought back tears. Shakily he guessed, "Nympha Collins?"

Sirius laughed, but stopped when he saw Remus' dead amber eyes. Though the wizard's mouth was curved in a smile, he looked ready to cry at any minute. Gently, Padfoot answered, "No, I'll tell you later. Want to screw off today? Just the two of us?"

"Today? Now? Why?" the werewolf's mind was telling him that spending a day around his walking heartache would be the death of him. But something in the warm inviting brown eyes made him want to spend the day with Sirius, if it were going to be that last time.

"You shall see! Now, no more questions! Get dressed and lets get out of here!" he exclaimed as he pulled Moony out of bed and gave him a change of clothes. Before leaving, Remus charmed his gifts away and said a silent prayer for strength.

Rushing down the hallways, Remus called, "We're going to get in trouble!"

Sirius just laughed and ran faster, yelling back, "Live a little, Moony!"

Trying to catch up to Sirius Black was one thing, Remus thought as he ran as fast as possible, trying to catch him was another.

That afternoon was spent dodging fans, playing with Wizard Crackers, and lying under the old oak tree near the Forbidden Forrest. James and Peter joined them after lunch, when they finally guessed correctly where they would be. That dinner was spent trying not to look too incriminating when the Slytherins discovered Swelling Singing Sneak pills in their soup.

Remus and Sirius escaped up to the tower before anyone could follow. The common room was pretty empty, so they decided to stay in there for a while.

"So who is the person that makes you _this_ happy?" Remus asked, still trying not to cry. All day had been fun, but when he was under the oak tree with Sirius, it hit him that the scruffy Marauder would never look at him so endearingly again.

"Aw, Moon. You don't want to know! Besides, I'm sure you already do!" Sirius answered, laughing. The vision of Lucius Malfoy singing as a colotura was still fresh in his mind.

"Please, Sirius…" Moony said again, almost begging. 

The animagus turned around to look at him. Even the fake smile had faded and had been replaced by shattered remnants of one. Sirius tried to smile back, but couldn't. Seeing Remus that sad did something to him. And why would he be sad anyways? It wasn't like he was in love or anything. "I'll tell you Christmas holiday."

"That's not fair, Padfoot!" Remus said, stepping on his own foot to keep from crying. He never wanted Sirius to see him cry, so he did his best to laugh.

The scruffy boy shook his head and walked into the dormitory. "It's only a week away, Moony! You can hold out that long."

As soon as he heard the door to their room click, Remus collapsed into a red armchair behind him and began to sob quietly. Sirius had a love… he had waited too long to tell him… now he would be gone for good. The werewolf could not stop crying, even as James and Peter tried to find out why he was sobbing. The Marauder would say nothing but sob.

James walked into the dorm with Peter, thoroughly confused. Sirius was sitting on his bed, looking up at the red canopy and thinking about Moony.

"Hey Sirius, do have any idea why Remus is sobbing puddles downstairs?" Prongs asked, hopping onto Padfoot's bed.

"Yeah, he won't say 'nothing about it." Peter piped, jumping onto his own. They both looked at Sirius, who sat bolt upright and looked around, very worried.

"He's… crying?" He had gone too far. After he swore to never hurt him, he had. Now his heart's flame sat in the common room bawling his eyes out. "Oh man…" was all the scruffy Marauder could manage to say.

"…Do you know?" Wormtail persisted, eyeing Black intently.

"Does he look like he knows, Pete? Honestly, and you call yourself Captain State-the-Obvious." James spat sarcastically, then going back to grinning.

As the two continued to argue about certain nicknames, Sirius closed his eyes. With hand on heart, he solemnly swore on all the pranks, persecuting, and foolery that the Marauders stood for, he, Sirius Canis Black, would tell Remus James Lupin about his undying passion and love on Christmas Eve, and no later.

Just then, Prongs grabbed Moony's diary from its shelf and said, "Well, if he won't tell us, let's see what's eating him!"

Peter gave James a shifty look and agreed. Sirius nodded and sat next to Jim on Remus' bed, reading over his shoulder.

Moony's handwriting was impeccable, petite, and easy to read. None of that windy stuff that Sirius uses to confuse the professors. Suddenly, James smiled victoriously and stood up, jumping to the center of the room and holding the book high so that the other two couldn't read what was making him so happy. "Well, my dear gentlemen (and I use that term loosely here)," he exclaimed, milking the attention for all it's worth. "Today is, indeed, a stepping stone in the Marauder's history! I know what's eating our dear Remus J Lupin to the point of sobbing!"

"Oh, get on with it, ya sod." Sirius growled, ready to rip the diary from his hands if he didn't talk soon.

"Well, it's plain to see from this passage that our young, tender, and innocent Remus…" James took the time to clear his throat, increasing the suspense in Peter's case, before whispering, "is in **love**."

Peddigrew laughed so hard he fell off the bed and James smiled triumphantly. But Padfoot stood there, shocked. No wonder he had been ready to cry all afternoon… he was in love with someone else… Then, Sirius' depression turned to anger inside of him. Why had he waited so long!? Why had he not just told Remus, then he would've had a standing chance! Finally, he growled, "Prove it, Prongs."

James cleared his throat again and, in opening the book to the marked passage, cooed, "Oh how I long for my dark-haired angel to rescue me from my despair. How cruel fate has been to leave me alone and confused with but a pen and collection of paper for drawing out my heart, making my ink and the blood one. If the eternal Goddess can hear me, please, I _beg_ you! Send me my glorious and saving angel to love me!" Then, before he could go on, Prongs fell on the floor, roaring with laughter.

Peter's face was as red as a beet from laughing so hard, but one laugh was missing. The two looked at Sirius as he slowly picked up the diary, returned it to the place on Remus' bed stand, and somberly crossed the room to his bed. His usually laughing eyes were earnest and pain-filled. All he wanted now was to fall asleep, to wake up, and have it all been a dream. Sirius would not give up so easily though. If Moony wanted to find out, he _would_, "dark-haired angel" or not.

With their fun spoiled by some invisible force, the two other Marauders climbed into bed, exchanged Goodnight's, and fell asleep. The fourth Marauder would fall asleep in the common room, still crying.


	9. A Winter Wonderland

YES! MY COMPUTER IS WORKING~! well, here you are, the 9th chapter! but before that, the thanks to reviewers:  
  
noxlupis, none, Rena Lupin, Meg, kimi, Davey-boy, DemonAngi, ElvishJedi, Loonymoon, Sashimi, Fireblade K'Chona, Nolwe the Lady Dragon, Son of twilight, PsYcHo SaM, Sashimi, Piper Of Locksley, Sylvia Sylverton, Duckie9, thenotoriousgeorgeweasley, Monica-Chan the Hanyou Kitsune, I Am The Bunny Slayer, & Lunaris. I LOVE YOU GUYS! *sniff* now, onto the story!  
  
Chapter 9: A Winter Wonderland  
  
It had been a very trying 2 weeks for the Lupin and the Black. They often had awkward silences between them, when they talked, that is. For the other two Marauders, they noticed how the once inseperable friends were now reluctant to look eachother in the eyes. Remus was caught more than once practicing smiles in the mirror by Wormtail, who poured the information out to James. Prongs had found Sirius reading poetry books, which was odd enough to peel paint (for one, Sirius Canis Black was reading, two: he was reading sappy crud like Lord Byron!). But as Christmas break made itself apparent, the two friends left the werewolf and the animagus, wondering whether or not it was a very good idea to leave them alone.  
  
Moony was on the verge of tears just waking up. He knew Sirius could never love him, so why should he cling onto life? A life without love was no life at all, wasn't it? The werewolf often discovered tear stains on his pillow in the morning, which was by now no surprise. Yet, still, every time he was around the scruffy Marauder, his heart burned. And now he was the only person in his grade staying for break with the one wizard he wanted to escape from. But everytime Remus thought about running away from the animagus, he was pulled back in by how much he still loved him.  
  
Sirius, on the other hand, was going crazy trying to think about anything BUT how his beloved werewolf was in love with someone else, thereby renderring Moony taken. NEVER had Padfoot run into this problem, and since he had, trying to deal with it had been hell on earth. All he could think about was this "dark-haired angel" mentioned in the Lupin's diary. Though, it wasn't like the anumagus could comfront Moony, for he would have to admit that they read his journal, which would be nailing his own coffin shut. The only thing he could think to say about this as he woke from never-ending dreams of Remus was, "Bloody ashes."  
  
Christmas Eve inched into date and soon the werewolf found himself sitting in a highly decorated Great Hall. It was the only other place he went besides the library and the dormatory, becuase he doubted he would see Sirius in either places, yet his image was still in his memory, haunting him to think about how Padfoot was in love with someone else. He looked into his pumpkin juice as dessert disappeared, finding that his heart's desire had in fact been seated next to him the entire meal.  
  
Once again, the amber eyes darted to the scruffy Marauder, who was inexplicably handsome, as always. But something about that night made him more attractive than Remus had ever noticed before. Because of this, he felt compelled to tell Padfoot everything about his love for him. No matter how much the werewolf tried to dismiss the idea, it would not leave his mind, telling him that he should spill that night. However unwilling the short wizard was, he made a silent promise, to himself and to those great big dark eyes that he admired so much, that he would reveal all to his friend, no matter the heartache that would follow. Unknown to Remus, Sirius now made the same promise to himself.  
  
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore merely smiled at the two and merrily sipped his eggnog.  
  
Up in the dormatory that night, as Remus and Sirius sat on their beds, reading, though they let their eyes wander to eachother every so often, when they were sure to the other wizard was not looking. Finally, the werewolf with brown hair closed his book, taking a deep breath and looking at the Black. He owed it to Padfoot to tell him, for both the other Marauder's sake, and his own. So he clambered to his feet, trying to figure out what he was going to say.  
  
The black eyes looked up as the sound of the floorboards creaking reached his ears. Remus was walking over to him, sliding his feet nervously on the ground. The werewolf's mouth opened to speak, but was cut short as he stumbled over an offset floorboard. In a heartbeat, Sirius was beside him, holding him steady as the shorter Gryffindor regained his balance, blushing lightly with his eyes closed.  
  
Padfoot kept his arms around him, looking the werewolf over carefully. "Are you alright Remus?" he asked, breathing the words out tenderly. The werewolf nodded, eyes falling to ground as he caught his breath. He was losing a battle inside him, and knew that he would be in tears soon, so if he were to do anything, he had to act now, before he couldn't even talk.  
  
The amber eyes gazed up into Sirius' dark eyes, shooting a swell of emotions through his body, mostly centered in his now aching chest. Then, Remus quietly requested, "Please tell me who you love.....I-I really need to know, right now....." Unable to escape from the animagus' arms or eyes, the werewolf's cheeks burned, his mind becoming blank with all but the feelings driving him insane, and the wizard causing them.  
  
Sirius looked into his friend's eyes and couldn't believe it. If Remus was already in love, why the bloody hell should he care if Padfoot was in love. Pushing the werewolf slightly away from him with as much self-control he had, he knew how close the pale wizard was to tears. Still, deep inside the Black, an anger that had festered since he knew he had lost Remus to this "angel" was surfacing. The scruffy Marauder glared at his heart's desire and growled, "Why the bloody hell would you want to know?"  
  
Gazing back into the animagus' face, the amber eyes became glossy and moist. Remus looked shocked and hurt, as if his crush had slapped him across the face. How could Padfoot say such things to him? Perhaps he knew that Moony loved him and was disgusted..... even offeneded by it..... The werewolf could not look away, even as a tear ran down his cheek. Soon, he was sobbing, as he repeated, "Please tell me who you love." He finally bent his head down and let another tear flow from his eye.  
  
Part of the taller wizard longed to hold the werewolf closely, yet the other knew that it could never be real. He had lost the one lover he had never had and the deep frustration from that was boiling inside him. "You tell me, Remus! You're the one who's in love! So, go ahead, who's this 'dark-haired angel' you write about in your journal? Who's this guy who has such a hold on you that I can't even begin to touch your heart?!" he yelled, causing Remus to sob, then to look up with shock present in his sad eyes."You-you read my journal?" Moony was able to get out, looking deep into Sirius' soul.  
  
Padfoot turned away. He couldn't stay mad at Remus if he looked at him, and this needed to be said before he gave in to his softer side. "Well, you certainly weren't telling us anything! What else could we do?!"  
  
Remus tried to stop crying but now realizing that nothing made sense anymore, he couldn't do a thing, except fumble out words. "Sirius, about that, I-"  
  
"What? You didn't want to break it to your friends that you were already in love? Afterall, that might've saved one of them his heart!" The wizard with black hair yelled, whirling around to face the sobbing and shaking werewolf.  
  
The smaller wizard was too hysteric to understand what Sirius was saying, so instead he dropped to his knees and sobbed, crying out, "Why should I!? I already know that you love someone else, and it's not me! You've been driving me crazy since you gave me your last chocolate bar in 2nd year! And now you drive me to tears every time I think of you with someone else, and that I can't have you! My thoughts revolve around you endlessly and now that I realize that you don't love me at all, this hole in my heart is eating away at the rest of my soul that you might never give me a chance to tell you how much I feel for you and that I can't bear to see you in anyone else's arms! I can love you so much more than anyone else can and I'm on the verge of dying from not being able to survive without you! I love you, Sirius....." The werewolf couldn't keep control on his emotions anymore and began to sob violently, his fist resting on the ground.  
  
Sirius looked at his love with big brown eyes. Not only were those the most words he had ever heard the werewolf say in one breath, but they were the most precious words the Black had ever heard. Slowly, he knelt down across from the sobbing vision of beauty, wondering how he ever could have hated Moony, or how he could ever think that Remus didn't love him. The scruffy wizard reached out a hand and took the werewolf's tear-streaked chin, gently drawing the sobbing boy up to look into Sirius' deep brown eyes. There, the small wizard saw something he had never truly noticed about the eyes before, though he couldn't place the feeling.  
  
Softly, Padfoot whispered soothingly to his love, "I have always loved you, Moony, there can never be anyone else... but are you telling me that I'm your angel?" Putting his other arm around the werewolf's middle, he gazed deeply into the angelic amber eyes. Sirius almost felt as though he were melting into his Moony's soul.  
  
Remus blushed, his tears still falling down into his love's hand. He was just able to choke out, "You are my only angel, Sirius. You're the only one that could ever make me feel like this..."  
  
Being unable to bear it any longer, the animagus scooped his love into his arms and held him tightly, leaning on the bed behind him. He was surprised at how right it felt, Remus in his arms, it was almost like holding a piece of heaven. But that was Moony, wasn't it? "Oh Remus....." Sirius whispered as his love wrapped two arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. "I wish you would think higher of yourself, because I think you fell out of heaven for me."  
  
Remus could only cry, not from hurt anymore, but from quiet joy. He had a love like no other, and no one would steal that from him. Even when they later lay sleeping in Sirius' bed, both wizard to his own pyjamas, the werewolf slept more soundly than he ever did, all because he knew he was loved by a very scruffy black-haired Marauder.  
  
Well, what do you think? I AM continuing this, so don't worry. Next chapter is their first kiss~! Don't miss it~! You may want to review, because I won't let you near the fluff if you don't!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! I AM REVIEW-FLUFF GODDESS! ALL BOW TO ME! 


	10. Say That You Love Me

**I would like to express my sincere apologies to my faithful reviewers. I have been battling with time, computer problems, and my rough-draft of this story and would like to say that this chapter will be worth your while. Again, I am soooooooooo sorry! *Grovels on floor at readers' feet!* My gratitude to Fireblade, Vividian, Meow Mix, Sashimi, Loonymoon, ElvishJedi, DemonAngi, Davey-boy, kimi, Meg, Rena Lupin, none, noxlupis, Monica-Chan the Hanyou Kitsune, aoi-yuki-yume, Nolwe the Lady Dragon, Psycho Sam, kabeeners, Misty, Lunaris, and my other adoring fans for making me write more.**

**This chapter is not the last one either. By the way, for anyone who has heart problems, perhaps you shouldn't read this. You may die from the fluff. I warned you, so don't sue me in the end. I'm just the pleaser!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this crap, so don't make me come over there and hit you… I will!**

**Chapter 10: Say That You Love Me**

The amber eyes of Remus J Lupin opened early that next morning, blinking and taking a while to focus on the white sunlight streaming through a window into the abandoned dorm room. He looked around groggily; trying to remember what happened last night to make him so tired. Then, the werewolf remembered, or thought he did… or had it all been just a dream, a silly little fantasy he had thought up to make him feel better? But as he rolled over, this hypothesis was proven wrong.

Two powerful arms held the wizard securely around his thin waist; pulling him closer to the muscular body they were connected to when Remus moved to see proof that the fantasy had been a reality. In red flannel pajamas, Sirius Black lay still asleep on his side, holding his love close to him, which made him sleep that much better. His scruffy black hair was falling over his closed eyes, giving the animagus an air of sophistication that Moony had never noticed before.

It had all been real… every word he had uttered, every feeling of Padfoot near him, and every emotion he had felt swell up into his throat last night had all been real. And now, Remus looked up at his love's kind and sweet face, putting a soft hand on the cheek of his heart's desire, which was smooth as the pillows they lay upon and the sheets that covered them both. Perhaps it was even smoother, because there was a feel of affection to the gesture.

The werewolf leaned against the sturdy chest of his lover, and listened carefully to the perfect heart beating within it, his hands sliding around Sirius' neck, so that their bodies could be even closer. It was wondrous and almost euphoric for Remus to feel this close to the wizard he had loved so dearly for so long… but he didn't know at the time that Sirius was thinking the same thing, having been awake since almost 5 am.

Stirring with great ease, so as not to disturb the angel lying next to him, Sirius opened his brown eyes and looked down to see his piece of heaven soundly in his arms, the soft amber eyes staring at nothing in particular. "Good morning, Moony," he whispered down as the two amber eyes looked up into his dark ones, they're love present in the way they both gazed at each other.

"G-Good morning Sirius," Remus stuttered out, slipping over his words because he couldn't help noticing the affection in his love's eyes as he held him. Padfoot leaned down and kissed the light brown and gray hair, making the werewolf in his arms want to fall asleep again in such comfort. But they both knew they should get up for breakfast.

Sirius slid the lighter wizard slightly sideways, still keeping him in his arms as he sat up, holding his treasure tightly. When he leaned against the back of the bed, cradling the boy with amber eyes close to him, he rested his chin on Remus' head. "How did you sleep last night?" he asked as Moony lightly nuzzled the scruffy Marauder's neck.

"Well, thank you… What about you?" Remus meekly and sleepily asked, gazing up to the animagus' kind face. Padfoot smiled, and gave a very mischievous grin that the werewolf knew all too well. Moony began to slowly inch away when the animagus grabbed his sides hard enough to make the smaller wizard squeal with the ticklish feeling. And yet, despite how much he hated it when Sirius did that, he couldn't help but laugh, because today was so much better than yesterday had been.

"As good as I could with my heart burning," the animagus with black hair growled out, picking the thin, brown haired wizard up and foolhardily spinning him around. It seemed that things had finally turned around in Sirius' life, all because of four words coming from one person last night. He could still hear Remus sobbing out "_I love you, Sirius…_" but now the Marauder would make sure that Moony would never cry again, because his heart ached whenever he saw his love's amber eyes filled with tears of hurt.

Remus looked at Sirius and finally asked, looking worried, "You have heartburn?" The black eyes stared and Moony and the scruffy Marauder roared with laughter, dropping onto the bed, the werewolf still securely in his arms. Blushing, the meek boy looked at his laughing lover, wondering if he said something wrong. Finally, after calming down a bit and sitting up, having the small Lupin held on his lap, Sirius teasingly said, "No, Rem, I don't. You make my heart burn every time I'm near you, that's all."

Cheeks turning red again, Moony nodded in acknowledgement and was about to speak when he found himself looking in Sirius' eyes the way he never had before. The deep gaze of love in them stayed his mouth from making any noise except breathing. Padfoot too found his voice silenced by the depth of his love's calm and striking amber eyes. He couldn't even smile, for he was in such awe.

The two stayed like that, Remus' hand on Sirius' knee so that he wouldn't fall off him. But they were both lost in each other's eyes. Unable to escape, letting all other worries flow out of them. 

Suddenly, the alarm clock went off with a crude and harsh beeping sound emitting from it. Being the tense werewolf that he was, Remus jumped, slipping off the animagus' lap onto the ground. Sirius nearly swore as he took out his wand and blew the irritating thing up in a cloud of green smoke.

He knelt down next to the werewolf and helped him up asking his beloved if he was alright about ten times before Remus finally said, "If I weren't alright you would know it, believe me." With a smile, Sirius weekly commented, "Well, I'm overprotective, give me a break." The werewolf shyly returned the smile and muttered, "I need a lot of protection…"

They got dressed as they usually would, except that there was one thing different. Remus could feel Sirius looking lovingly at him as he got dressed (and undressed). His cheeks were burning, but in a way, the werewolf felt almost as though he were beautiful, if there is a way to feel like that. Turning around after finishing, Moony only just caught a glance of Sirius' eyes as the animagus spun around and continued to dress.

_So this is what its like to be in love…_ Remus thought to himself as he sat properly down on his bed, his posture perfect, as usual. He watched Sirius amorously as the werewolf leaned against the bedpost, though he turned away blushing when the scruffy Marauder removed his shirt.

There was something about Padfoot that made him feel possibly _too_ good, almost like he was sinning just by looking at him, and it made Remus feel embarrassed to think even a little about Sirius bearing skin. Though he had seen him shirtless over a hundred times, since fourth year it had become very awkward to.

Remus was so engrossed with these thoughts and dreams that he didn't notice Sirius walking over toward him. Nor did he notice Sirius walking up behind him. The thing he finally did notice is when Padfoot jumped onto the bed, grabbed the yelping werewolf around the middle, and spun him around to pin him to the bed, laughing at the funny shocked face before him.

"SIRIUS CANIS BLACK!" the Lupin yelled, scolding his love, "YOU SCARED ME NEARLY TO DEATH!" Sirius merely put on a very irresistibly innocent and loveable face and whispered into the smaller wizard's ear, "I couldn't resist…"

The werewolf's anger subsided almost immediately as he looked into the Black's strong and handsome face. He slowly reached up a trembling pale hand and let it gently caress his love's left cheek, his own pale cheeks growing red. The silky cheek he was touching also grew slightly pink, and Sirius looked at Moony, stunned by how delicate and loving such a simple touch was.

Having never been touched like that before, and finding that he liked it, Padfoot lifted a hand and softly held Remus' wrist, lifting the hand off his cheek and guiding it over in front of his lips. Tenderly, Sirius kissed the three long fingers of the werewolf's small hand, afterward smiling down at his very red, very small lover.

"Have I told you today that I love you, Moony?" Sirius asked, still holding his angel's small and delicate hand in his, his eyes staring into the depthless amber pools below him. Moony piped out a quite "You didn't need to…"

This was followed by Padfoot leaning forward to whisper sweetly in his love's ear, "I love you, Remus Lupin," allowing his lips to lightly caress the smaller wizard's skin as he spoke.

Remus' eyes were becoming wet again, with memories of how horrible it was thinking that Sirius could never love him, but all of those thoughts had been in vain. So the werewolf circled his arms limply around the animagus' neck, holding onto the one thing that he had always wanted, but never had. Having all the money in the world could never have made a difference to Remus, but now he had a lover who made his heart fly. Whispering so as not to wake the will to cry balled up in his throat, the thin wizard murmured, "I love you so much, Padfoot," before a tear and a sob escaped him.

**I was originally going to make this longer, but I'll give it to you now. STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 11!! COMING SOON!**


	11. Last Christmas

**FINAL CHAPTER! HAVE FUN!**

**Yes, I know, it's sad, but I promise the fluff.**

**Chapter 11: Last Christmas**

****

Remus and Sirius could barely eat breakfast let alone open presents that morning because they were so lost in each other's eyes. The others at the table found this rather irritating, but according to Remus' mind, there were no other people at the table (that were as important as Sirius, at least). Even as his brothers tried desperately to wake him from his daze, wondering what could be wrong with him, he could only think about the animagus before him, who looked back in his deep amber eyes.

Finally, having yelled himself horse, Relius hit Remus over the head, knocking him to the ground as the werewolf cried, "What did I do!?" 

"What's the matter with you? You're the most oblivious person in the school!" Rital called, giving an exasperated sigh. Relius was smiling, sipping some pumpkin juice as he watched the Remus try to explain why he was so out of it. Then, he noticed his twin sisters smiling. It was no surprise, because they were thought to have inherited their mother's "intuition" (a.k.a. telepathy), but Relius wondered just what they had found out, and why before their brothers found out.

Remus stayed on the ground as the twin brothers began badgering him with questions, trying to get out why he was so dazed. The werewolf didn't want to answer them, and tried to get around the questions, which he nearly succeeded at until Rigel began asking him why he had been staring at Sirius. 

The amber eyes widened as he shut his mouth, looking for a way to get out of his nosy family's questions. Sirius stood up and walked over to his love, extending a hand and helping him up tenderly. "Yes, well," the animagus said, and he and his lover gracefully walked out of the Hall. "Happy Christmas to you all."

The two returned to their dorm in the Gryffindor tower, making sure to lock the door. Remus threw himself onto his bed, burying his head in the scarlet pillows atop. In a pile in front of his nightstand were his presents: 13 boxes of chocolate, 7 journals, 29 books, 4 scarves, a lunar chart for the next two years, the autobiography of a werewolf, 15 self-inking quills, fudge, and a gold bracelet from Reisa and Rhea. He hated getting so many presents, and how everyone in his family always knew everyone else's business. Sooner or later, they would find out Remus loved Sirius… and his parents would go insane, but for now he was just worrying about what his brothers would do if they found out.

Sirius smiled at the cutely distraught werewolf, walking over and sitting on the bed next to him. "Moony, you alright?" Padfoot asked, pulling the smaller wizard up to hold him. Remus leaned his head against Sirius' strong shoulder, letting his hands fall limply onto his leg. "I'm worried about… what will happen if they find out about us?"

"You're having second thoughts?" Padfoot looked into the liquid amber eyes, and Remus strongly shook his head, looking up into the big brown eyes. "NO, no, of course not… I'm just a bit worried about my family and—"

"Rem, in my humble opinion, hang your family. If they're so bloody-minded to ignore your happiness then they're not worth your energy," Sirius reassured, encircling the werewolf with his arms. This made a reminder appear in the small wizard's mind, and Remus broke the embrace to rummage for something in his trunk.

A few puzzling moment later, Moony handed the scruffy Marauder a large package, wrapped in bewitched wrapping paper that started singing "Merry Christmas" in triple harmony. Sirius smiled and kissed Remus' forehead, making the boy blush as his love began to open his present, saying the usual "you didn't have to".

Removing the wrapping paper, which now had begun singing "Winter Wonderland", Sirius held up by far the coolest present he had ever gotten. His eyes glittered with awe as he looked at the black leather biker jacket, on the back of which was the studded outline of a dog paw print. Having always wanted a motorcycle, this was the perfect gear to wear with it. He turned back to his amber-eyed thoughtful Marauder, who was smiling admiringly, happy because he made his love happy.

"Moony, you are the all-time greatest!" Sirius yelled, jumping up and putting the jacket on. Remus blushed, saying that it was nothing, and blushed even more as Padfoot picked him up, twirling him around and once again falling onto the werewolf's bed, on top of the sweet werewolf. "I love you, my Moony."

The amber eyes looked up into the sweet brown eyes, his heart melting as he heard the words from his love's lips. Tears were once again forming in his eyes, but he couldn't help it. Sirius made him emotional. Especially when Padfoot fished a small box out of his robes, offering it to the small wizard. Remus took it with delicate hands, confused about what the animagus was offering him. He took off the red ribbon and opened the box. There, inside, was a bronze wolf pendant on a brown leather strip.

Last Christmas, Moony had gotten a gold dog pendant for Padfoot, a copper stag pendant for Prongs, and a steal rat pendant for Wormtail, all on their own leather strips. Well, the three were curious about just how much they cost, seeing as Remus always tried to spend discreetly. They figured out he had spent 2 galleons and 6 sickles on each, which was far from cheap, but Remus would never consider the price if he thought his friends would like it.

Moony smiled and almost began crying as Sirius tied it around his neck. "You're a true Marauder now, Rem," he whispered, smiling down at his love. Remus sniffed and a tear escaped his eye, followed by another. Laughing, Padfoot wiped them away, placing a hand on his love's cheek. "It's a wonder we don't drown from how much you cry."

"Sirius, I love you… s-so much," Moony sobbed out, more tears spilling from his eyes. He closed them shut, trying to stop the drops from escaping, embarrassed because he was crying again. Sirius smiled, and lifted Remus' chin up very slightly and gently. His love stared at him with deep, soulful amber eyes. Padfoot leaned down, and very tenderly met the werewolf's lips with his own, tasting the delicate lips he had long dreamed about.

The Lupin's pale cheeks burned red as he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck. This was his first kiss, and it was just as he had dreamed. Returning the soft kiss, Remus could only think about Sirius, the paradise he had always longed for, but never had: love from the scruffy animagus. 

Time seemed to stand still as they kissed, because everything around them just disappeared for it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Remus and Sirius, sharing in one kiss of the truest love, neither wanting to break it, for fear that he would only wake up to see that it had been a dream. But there was no mistake; the feelings and the kiss were real.

Minutes later, the two separated their lips, gasping for air. Remus opened his eyes to see a very red Black before him. That was the first time he had ever seen Sirius blush, which meant he himself must be even more flushed. Moony didn't wait for Padfoot to say anything, which he would have. He moved up to his love and tasted his lips again, giving the kiss his all. Sirius could barely believe it, and wrapped his arms around Remus' small waist, also slowly closing his eyes.

Suddenly, the door to the dorm flew open with a bang and in rushed Rigel, Rital, Relius, Rhea, and Reisa. The site before them silenced their rowdy cries. Their small, innocent, dear little brother was sitting on a bed, being kissed by a scruffy, mischievous Marauder, whom had his arms around their youngest sibling's waist. Remus looked at them, his lips still occupied by Sirius', and his eyes widened. Padfoot hadn't noticed the Lupin family bursting into their room, but did notice when Remus pushed him away, jumping up in front of his siblings. 

The six Lupins were in shock, and Sirius was trying to see what he was going to do. Moony began explaining (very, very quickly) about how he was old enough to make decisions for himself, how he loved Sirius more than anything in the world, and how he knew what father might do if he found out. The girls smiled and shared a look, and said quietly, "Don't worry, Remus." They dragged the three boys out and closed the door, the room again becoming quiet.

The werewolf was the of cherries, and breathing hard. Padfoot smiled at him and stood up, surrounding his love with his arms. Remus smiled a bit, leaning against Sirius' chest, and trying to relax again. "There goes our secret," Moony muttered, nuzzling the animagus' neck. His cover was blown, but he didn't care that much, his siblings wouldn't tell anyone…

Sirius smiled and nodded, leaning down and kissing the Lupin once again, wanting to hold him so much closer. "Who cares, as long as I still have you, it's alright."

Remus smiled, leaning his head so that his ear was right above Sirius' heart. The heartbeat was perfect, and lulling him back into the euphoria of being in love.

"Sirius?"

"Yea, Moony?"

"Being in love with you is like a sugar high."

**THE END**

That's right, it's over. HAVE FUN! Look for a sequel (hint, hint).


End file.
